It was as quick as a blink. The man who was once spewing obscenities was now gushing praise.
“Brother Mulden, my peer, no, my savior, the one voice of reason in this madness, Balance bless you! I have been subject to most abominable treatment, of which I will spare you the details – spirits, my stomach churns at the memory! - by this harlot here, this witch, who means to inflict me with all sorts of dark and dreadful magic.”
Kisu, cheeks streaked with tears, shot him a look of disbelief. “What are you talking about? I can't even use magic! I don't even have my kit!”
“Instruments of torture, you mean. Brother Mulden, hear me when I say that not moments pass, I was sitting on my own step - which is not a crime, I do recall - sitting on my own step, unwinding after a rather exhausting session with the children, when all of a sudden, there is a clamor! An explosion of noise! And suddenly this madwoman rushes past the steps, evil designs on her mind. She hardly makes it past two steps before she claims that the master healer has sent her. Lies, I know, for who would send a healer for a man still in the prime of youth, of invigorating and blessed health? The spirits prompt me to speak true, and I denounce her false claims. But she has none of it. Suddenly, she throws herself upon me, and I am assaulted!”
“I never assaulted you!”
“Quiet woman. See? Even now she lashes out at me, like a rabid dog biting the leash. Look here!” He turns his head to reveal his bruised temple, where Jacinthe had thrown her scepter. “Tell me who would strike this blow. Or did I deliver it on myself?”
Kisu sniffed. “I..I don't know, it was... it was there when I got here.”
“Look at my house! Wrecked! The living room, dashed to bits. Bookshelves upturned, paintings fallen. All her doing. She swept in, bearing unnatural and some might say magical strength, and sought out to tear my place to pieces. Dashed cake on me too. Child, you must be dabbling in foul arts to be possessed of such powerful magics.”
“I can't use magic!”
“Brother Mulden, you of just and noble temperament, even you must have a heart that hardens at these falsehoods. As I say, I sat here, stunned! aghast! as she wields her instruments, her horrible scalpels, her cruel and gleaming knives, and I shake like a babe, truly, for who knows what schemes she is plotting, what disfigurements she sets to shape. And just as she is about to strike the blow, you arrive, quick on miracle's wings. Praise be! If you were late by barely a moment, why I... no, I cannot contemplate it, I shudder to think.”
“Scalpels...I don't even have my kit! All I have are bandages.”
“To strangle me, indeed! If you were to search her, she would not have any sharp blades or scalpels, true. Because she has hid them! Fast as sin, she can whip them out and cloak them in, as quick as you can say a prayer. O Brother Mulden, you have known that I have never taken a sick day, nor been held back by any infirmity. Why would I call upon a healer? How clear it is to see that this poor woman, this wretched harlot, poor thing; it is clear she is suffering from the madness of menses. Moonflow has swamped her senses, inflicted her with a red insanity. I forgive you, child. You know no better.”
Kisu's mouth opened and close. She couldn't find anything to say.
“Brother Mulden, if you can forgive my unsightly undress – the little ones were having a party, and I cannot refute them, sweet dears – may I ask what reason has brought you here? Balance, surely, has contrived of some excuse for you to rescue me, of which you have my heartfelt and appreciative thanks. Tell me, and we can have a laugh at this at the coming ceremony, which I have every mind to still attend, despite this traumatic assault.”
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